North Dakota Man Marries 16th Century Courtesan

Deep in the North Dakota "up country," a recent migration of single women to the infinitely more sophisticated North Dakota "down country" has skyrocketed the male to female ratio to a staggering 17 to 1. The resulting severe feminine deficiency has led to an over-abundance of lonely, desperate bachelors littering the up country's streets and sleazy bars.

Although many bachelors have resorted to personal ads, matchmakers, and eHarmony, one up countryman was lucky enough to meet the love of his life while on holiday in Rome, Italy. While on a tour of the Colosseum, "Albert" spotted the beautiful and effervescent Genevieve floating serenely through the legendary hypogeum. Albert originally attributed Genevieve's glow and gravity defying grace to dehydration hallucinations, but later realized her otherworldly attributes were just that . . . otherworldly. Being a lonely and desperate up countryman, Albert seized the opportunity to meet a nice and presumably single woman, and quickly asked Genevieve out on a date.

Over a romantic dinner of rigatoni and chianti, Genevieve explained to Albert that she is the ghost of a 16th century courtesan who was strangled by a jealous lover in the corridors of the hypogeum. As many Rome natives will explain, Genevieve is a well-known local ghost who can be seen wandering the abandoned hypogeum at night still dressed in her courtesan white garb. She is said to wander in search of the true love she was denied in life because of her "profession."

It didn't take long for Albert to fall under the spell of the ghostly courtesan. Genevieve's finely honed feminine wiles made short work of capturing Albert's heart. Knowing he may never have this opportunity for love once he returned to the sausage-fest up country, Albert quickly asked the courtesan for her hand in marriage. Genevieve, having never been allowed to marry as a courtesan, eagerly accepted.

Although all public agencies and legitimate clerics refused to wed a man to a ghost, an internt-ordained minister wed the two in exchange for Albert's eHarmony account, which has been prepaid for the next three years. Pictured above, Albert and Genevieve were married in the minister's unfinished basement. The two lovebirds vowed to "love, honor, and cherish." The "'till death do us part" clause was understandably omitted.

Although it took the residents of the up country some time to accept Genevieve into their small, tight-knit community, they eventually warmed to the apparition, the men, of course being overwhelmingly susceptible to the charms of a courtesan.

All this Librarian can say is . . . Happy Halloween!

--Katherine O'Brien-Smith