Friday, August 10, 2007

Evolution Takes A Leap Forward in La Verkin, Utah

Evolution took one giant leap forward in the small town of La Verkin, Utah with the birth of little Edna Mae Sofaman.

Edna (pictured left) was born on August 17, 2007 with a fully developed set of adult teeth.

Edna's dentist, Dr. Harry Roper had this to say, "Well, I'll be darned if that little bugger wasn't born with a full set of adult chompers. We did a whole battery of x-rays and there's not a baby tooth to be found; it's like she just skipped right over em'!"

There were early signs of Edna's unique . . . "evolutionary advancement." Thirty two weeks into her pregnancy, Edna's mother, Vera Sofaman, began complaining of painful gnawing sensations in her stomach. A quick ultrasound revealed that little Edna had been busy attempting to chew her way out of the womb.

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing during the ultrasound" commented Vera's OB/GYN, Dr. Sanford, "there was little Edna, just chewing away at the uterus like she didn't have a care in the world."

"That's our little Edna." comments Vera Sofaman with a chuckle, "She's quite the little eater. She just loves to eat . . . especially corn on the cob. She just loves to put them big teeth to good use!"

Although no conclusive cause of Edna's advanced state of dental development has been uncovered, the Sofaman Family Worm Farm is rumored to be situated on a cache of nuclear waste that is the legacy of Cold War nuclear development in the region.

Vinnie Sofaman, Edna's father, tries to keep a positive outlook on the whole situation, "Radioactive or not, she's my little princess, and I love her, big ol' rabbit teeth and all."

When asked to comment on Edna Sofaman's condition, The United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission would only be quoted as saying, "We don't think of Edna's teeth as a freakish byproduct of sloppy nuclear regulation, but one great leap forward in evolution for all mankind."

All this Librarian can say is, if you ever find yourself in La Verkin Utah, stop by the Sofaman Family Worm Farm and maybe have some corn on the cob with little Edna, but pass when they offer you a glass of cool, crisp well water because after all, it's a thin line between evolution and just plain freaky.

--Katherine O'Brien-Smith

1 comment:

Manfredo said...

Breast Feeding must be bitch. Good Luck to Mrs. Sofaman