Thursday, August 16, 2007

Lake Monster Captured on Film in Bear Lake, Utah

A peaceful August afternoon in Bear Lake, Utah was thrown into panicked chaos as the cool, clear waters suddenly revealed the serpentine body of the mythical Bear Lake Monster. Terrified onlookers watched as the large monster gracefully swam 217 yards before submerging and disappearing back into the lake's legendary blue depths.

The Bear Lake Monster has a long history dating back the the 1800's, when it was first documented by Native American tribes in the region. The monster has been described as a "water dragon," "aquatic dinosaur," and even a "giant beaver," but on this afternoon, the monster revealed itself as an enormous snake-like beast capable of swimming at high speeds.

On the afternoon of August 12, 2007, the monster was first sighted by a man known only as "Uncle Marty." Pictured left, Uncle Marty first spotted the monster while shotgunning his third Keystone Light.

"As I bit down on the bottom of the can, you know . . . for the shotgun, I saw this giant snake just poke up out of the water. Well I threw down my brewskie, right into the sand and ran to the water."

Witnesses recall Uncle Marty running to the lake's edge, trampling a day-long sandcastle endeavor in the process.

"He just stood there, pointing and screaming like a little girl, a high-pitched, almost soprano scream" recalls an unnamed family member. "We all just thought he was just . . . you know . . . plastered, but there it was out in the water, the biggest snake I had ever seen so I grabbed my camera from my brother who was using it to take pictures of his butt and snapped a few pictures of the monster. We all just couldn't believe what we were seeing."

Although no other witnesses reported seeing the Bear Lake Monster that afternoon, the family of Uncle Marty vehemently maintain they all saw the beast. Although it should be noted that gallons of jungle juice were reportedly consumed by Uncle Marty and his family that afternoon.

When questioned, one nephew (too young to consumer alcohol) was quoted as saying "All I remember is seeing Uncle Marty peeing on the sandcastle I spent all day building . . . what a jerk-face!"

All this Librarian can say is . . . water dragon, aquatic dinosaur, giant beaver, drunken hallucination, or blatant crappy Photoshop edit, the myth of the Bear Lake Monster lives on.

Pass the jungle juice!

--Katherine O'Brien-Smith


Heather said...

I think It's a snake.

Heather said...

I think the Bear Lake Monster is fake.